Sometimes I don’t know what I’m thinking. For real. It just seems garbled. Do you ever get like that? It’s hard to tell what is and isn’t normal when you’ve been told you have a disorder. My roommate, who is also bipolar, wondered aloud the other day why his thoughts were so quiet lately now that he’s on new meds. Side note – I realize how weird that might sound saying that my roommate is bipolar. I promise that I’m not at a psych ward, though they are a lovely place and I highly recommend that anyone who reads this and is concerned for their mental well being consider at least a partial hospitalization program like I did if you need to recalibrate yourself. Anyway, like I was saying, he was thinking aloud and mentioned having quiet thoughts and I couldn’t stop thinking about how mine were so loud. Loud to the point where I couldn’t decipher.

I don’t know where I was going with any of that honestly, other than I’m at that point currently and am having difficulty concentrating. There are just too many thoughts right now. It makes me incredibly anxious to try to figure them all out. Even at work the past two days, my coworker could notice a shift in my demeanor. I’m not a fan of bipolar depression. It’s incredibly terrifying.

I was going to add more to this but my brain keeps stopping me, so here’s to tomorrow…